Dynasty

It's New Year's Day 1983 and what treats do we have on the telly? Emu? Val Doonican?

Wonderful.

And what's this - a new series of Dynasty?

Hooray!

With super poised and sexy English actress Joan Collins making her debut?

Double hooray!

The first season of Dynasty had debuted on the BBC on 1 May 1982. The final episode of that season had seen Blake Carrington up to his neck in it, standing trial for murder. A surprise witness was his ex-wife, Alexis, who turned up to testify against him. She was a sinister veiled figure, the first season's cliffhanger.

Under that veil was an extra. But at the start of the next season Joan Collins took the extra's place and it was fun, fun, fun...

Although Krystle, "the ex-stenographer", didn't think so.

Never mind. For us, with our Joan stepping into Dynasty, 1983 got off to a brilliant start.

Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) stands between his wife, Krystle (Linda Evans, right) and his ex-wife, Alexis (Joan Collins). It's a highly civilised piccy, but things soon changed as Alexis and Krystle squared up to each other. Not that moist-eyed Krystle wanted a fight, but Alexis would have tried the patience of a saint - or even Meg Richardson from "Crossroads"...

"Right! That's It! It's into the lily pond with you, my girl!"

"Take that, you absolute hussy!"

Fortunately, Blake happened along and broke up the fight, but, tragically, Krystle's shoulder pads never fully recovered from their ordeal.

Here's Alexis, or at least half of her, in a mid-1980s BP promotion. If you HAVE got her other half, I advise you to give him back. You know what SHE'S like!